Merry Christ Day

-So what do Peace Corps Volunteers Do?
-We help people?

Fun in the Sun

My cheap Polish skin wins again. One blissful day in the Indian Ocean subsequently leads to 3 days of misery where I have to be incredibly careful turning corners and squeezing between a group of people and the wall. And before you ask, Yes, I did wear sunscreen. Mother nature is just a spicy lady here in Africa. She will strand you with her mud , almost kill you with her mosquitoes and fry your skin like a twinkie at a state fair. For the next few days I will be rocking a lot of flowy layers like your favorite grandma and a constant thick layer of SPF 50. 

What's A Goal?

These are the possible titles for the memoir about Kenya that I will never write.

Loitering in Africa
Two Years Spent Carbo-Loading
Conversations With Myself and A Jiko
Pee Buckets, Prenatals and Popcorn
The Horrible Things I Did For a Hot Shower

My all around autobiography is titled When Bad Decisions Go Good.

Aged To Perfection

These are my grey hairs. The older ones keep inviting their friends to the party. 

Well Wishes From Afar

Happy Birthday Sandy! 

I'm not entirely sure why I don't have more recent pics. Sorry.

Tick Tock

Out of the 168 hours in a week I spend exactly half of those sleeping sweet sweet Meflaquin dreams. Out of the other 84 hours I spend about 28 of them working. That leaves me 56 hours each week to fill idle time with creative activities. One of my hours this week was spent calculating the amount of hours I spend doing things each week and then writing this blog post. Turd.

The other night I tried my hand at soap carving. I thought if I could get good enough then I could move on to wood. My attempted alligator turned out looking like a voodoo doll. I'm going to use the little bugger to wash the demons out of my clothes.

I have a leftover Dutch Vogue that I stole from first class when getting off the plane from New York to Switzerland. I might make some magazine beads with glue. Or write some ransom notes.

I have a bag of potatoes sitting in the corner of my "house" given to me by a neighbor. I could make an obscene amount of potato stamps. Or I could make obscene potato stamps.

I'm constantly getting attacked (falling into) stinging nettles. Someone once said you can make tea out of it. That seems like sweet enough revenge to me.

I'm trying to develop some kind of skill that serves as recreation also. Please let me know if any of you humans out there have suggestions. I will kindly try each one until it takes a turn for the worst.

P.S. Meflaquin is the malaria medication that I take that causes me to have incredibly psychedelic hallucination-like dreams.

Be Gentle

If a Kenyan is talking on a microphone
He is going to talk for hours

If a Kenyan talks for hours
You will be sharing one chair with two other people

If you are sharing one chair with two other people
Someone is going to touch your hair

If a stranger touches your hair
All the children in the area will surrond you

If you are surrounded by 60 kids
You are going to have a mild anxiety attack

If you are having an anxiety attack
The children will ask you to sing for them

If you have to sing for the children
You will forget the words to "She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain" after two verses.

If you forget the words to your song
You will try and recover by shaking everyones' hand

If you shake everyone's hand
You will go home and scub them until they almost bleed

If your hands are almost bleeding
Then you will really know you are in Kenya