This is a cry to all future female Peace Corps Volunteers in Kenya.
You will not loose weight coming to Africa. In fact your ass will grow exponentially. Do no eat tons and tons of food before you leave. You will not get the body of a Kenyan runner just by stepping off the plane.
And honestly why would you want that?
Lets start with the fact that Kenyan women are hostesses with the mostesses. The Mammas will feed you potatoes mixed with rice and chapati (Kenyan tortilla) as an appetizer before they load you up with Ugali (hot dough served with just about everything). Then they will stare at you insulted when you can't finish your third bowl of rice and you will continue to shovel it into your face having no idea what the repercussions will be like later. Not to mention that they will tell you "you are so skinny", even though you know that is a lie, somehow you will use it to justify the carnage left behind on your plate.
Kenyan food is healthy on the surface. Kenyan food is a handful of ingredients: kale, maize, beans, cabbage, potatoes, tomatoes and carrots. These ingredients are all interchanged at various amounts to make different dishes. You'll think to yourself "Gosh kale is so expensive in the states I'm going to have TWO helpings". Little do you know that at bare minimum there is at least 4 Tbsp of pure lard in that dish you are so gloriously consuming. Also Kenyans overcook everything so most of those awesome nutrients found in kale have left hours ago. You are essentially eating fat coated in a light layer of iron.
Lastly, don't come to Kenya if you eat your feelings. Once you are dropped off at site with no one around to hear your pillow muffled sobs you will learn just what being truly alone means. You'll go to market and buy all the ingredients for a whole weeks worth of meals filled with veggies and wholesome grains. This will quickly go away once you figure out how to make unhealthy American food at site. Nine pieces of garlic toast and a giant pot of salted popcorn later you are going to bed hating yourself a little bit more.
You will not loose weight coming to Africa. In fact your ass will grow exponentially. Do no eat tons and tons of food before you leave. You will not get the body of a Kenyan runner just by stepping off the plane.
And honestly why would you want that?
Lets start with the fact that Kenyan women are hostesses with the mostesses. The Mammas will feed you potatoes mixed with rice and chapati (Kenyan tortilla) as an appetizer before they load you up with Ugali (hot dough served with just about everything). Then they will stare at you insulted when you can't finish your third bowl of rice and you will continue to shovel it into your face having no idea what the repercussions will be like later. Not to mention that they will tell you "you are so skinny", even though you know that is a lie, somehow you will use it to justify the carnage left behind on your plate.
Kenyan food is healthy on the surface. Kenyan food is a handful of ingredients: kale, maize, beans, cabbage, potatoes, tomatoes and carrots. These ingredients are all interchanged at various amounts to make different dishes. You'll think to yourself "Gosh kale is so expensive in the states I'm going to have TWO helpings". Little do you know that at bare minimum there is at least 4 Tbsp of pure lard in that dish you are so gloriously consuming. Also Kenyans overcook everything so most of those awesome nutrients found in kale have left hours ago. You are essentially eating fat coated in a light layer of iron.
Lastly, don't come to Kenya if you eat your feelings. Once you are dropped off at site with no one around to hear your pillow muffled sobs you will learn just what being truly alone means. You'll go to market and buy all the ingredients for a whole weeks worth of meals filled with veggies and wholesome grains. This will quickly go away once you figure out how to make unhealthy American food at site. Nine pieces of garlic toast and a giant pot of salted popcorn later you are going to bed hating yourself a little bit more.
I'll see your Kenyan food and I'll raise you real Chinese food. Every time I see Chinese people I am forced to eat some kind of fried dough thing with cabbage that's been boiled for hours. With nasty tea. And then I'm offered a Coke??
ReplyDeleteBut, I digress.
mmmmm giant pot of salted popcorn...